Sales Staff T-Shirts

As complaints man bursts into tears, manager comments; 'I guess Hopkins is due for a transfer!'

'computer says no.....el!'

'As you know, we're looking for personable, outgoing people for our sales staff.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'