Sales Rep Pillows

"I miss not being on the road."

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Cut Price

Toadstools

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution