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Accountant job

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

"�627,000 a year. I'd like you to meet �885,000 a year."

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

"Of course we pay a living wage....as long as you only live four days a week!"

"I'm glad you like your starting salary, Bradford. You'll be getting it for a long, long time ... "

Jack of all trades

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

One way only.

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"How can anyone remember Cheech and not remember Chong?"

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

"I make money, therefore I am."

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

The Circle.

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

"This is money—get ready to worry about it for the rest of your life."

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

'It appears to be a blog clog.'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'Any other counter-terrorism experience besides driving a junior high school bus?'

"She died doing what she loved."