Salary Negotiation Buff Prints

"... And we can offer you twice your previous salary. Providing you last worked in 1985 that is."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

"Damn tail... now he's going to ask for more money."

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

'Turn up the air conditioning. Panting always puts us at a disadvantage during negotiations.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

'Actually, Carruthers, if you take the world average income, you're grossly overpaid.'

'How about a small rise?' - 'No, but how about a large reference?.'

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

I though I could depend on you Foster - and now you come in here and ask for a rise!

"That's how my boss looks when I ask for a raise."

'A tip jar does not constitute a raise!'