Salary Magician Pillows

'You state on your resume that you want to work very little, but get paid a lot. I do appreciate your honesty.'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

Time Is Money

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

Primitive magician

"I can't believe he brought her."

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

Investing your savings

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Magic Tricks

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Magic Tricks

"Everything's gone up."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."