Salary Evaluator Mugs

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'I received matching offers.'

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

"If I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!"

"Yes, you do go the extra mile for this company. But you've been going in the wrong direction."

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'

"You've screwed up, messed up and played up. I didn't realise you were so multi-skilled."

'Treat me easy this morning.'

"Frankly, your performance has been spotty."

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'I've read my appraisal and this is my solicitor - I intend to sue you!'

'We value you in ways that cannot be expressed in money.'

"I'd like a 150% rise."

Sex Score

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

"It's way too cerebral. What were you thinking?"

'Well done Flipper, you seem to be balancing your workload well.'

"Has it been in your family long?"

Ssomething tells me this award has gone to his head!

'Within the last months, you worked perfectly and I've got nothing to blame you for. Do you hate me for something in particular?'

'Your performance review is in...and it's not good.'

I'm beat! Was work too hard for you? I didn't notice you helping dig, haul, plant or water dad's nursery. Boo hoo! He paid you, didn't he? Yeah. But I'm too tired to spend it! Now I can help.

IRS. I made less money this year than last year because I spent six months filling out my tax form!

'You say here you're a people person.'

"Ah, Miss Frimley! It must be salary review time again!"