Salaried Strategist T-Shirts

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"Any questions?"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Empty box of ideas

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

The Evolution of the Bonus

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."