Saintly Storyteller T-Shirts

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

We don't have a 'reasonable doubt' rule up here!

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

"I remember behavior like that being followed by fire and brimstone."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

"King Herod sent us."

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'