Saintly Schemer Mugs

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"That's the preacher's dog."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"It's a setup."

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

Valentine Comix

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Boy standing on 'The Joy of Sex' book.

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"I'm moving all the money from our rainy day account into a slush fund."

Well yes, I'm quite clever: I have over twenty patents to my name...

"I was thinking more of a leap-year wedding."

Agent with security case proposes to girlfriend with ring that has a tiny security case chained to it.

"I have a rich and generous son who wants to contribute to the heavenly fund."

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

Revenge on Santa

Fake it with Flowers.

Cost of food in Cuba

It was clear that, once again, Lyle was not being nominated for sainthood.

'High interest rates won't stop me from shopping!'

"So, if you could date anyone, who would it be?"

"Are there any security cameras in the basement?"

"Before I say yes, my dad, who is a notary, wants to ask you about your plans for our future."

'Oh no! It's you again, madam!'

'Now THAT's what I call an innovative business plan!'

"Now, do you see why I discourage employee fraternization, Tom!"

"It would be cool if we cooked up a couple of these at your place where nobody could see us."

Heaven II