Sage Of Savings Prints

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

The day the stock market went UP.

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Roasting the Moneybox

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

A wiser and a better man

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

Climate Summit

It's the biofuel generation.

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"Say one Our Father Attenborough and three Hail Gretas."

The oil trap.

"I worry that we're headed for a future where you won't be able to earn three hundred times the salary of your lowest paid worker."

"This is part of the privatisation I don't like."

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

'Today the Dow finally outpaced the Jones.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

Trusting

Tariff Adjustment

'Probably just another correctional movement.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."

WORLD COUNCIL ON GLOBAL WARMING, 'I regret to report that there's no global warming threat after all - we just got Fahrenheit and Celsius mixed up.'

Climate Change Rhetoric

'How do I tell the president we're looking at an ampersand-shaped recovery? He still doesn't get the supply curve.'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

Climate Change Denier's Playbook

"But deep down you must have wanted to change."