Sage Baby Admirer Pillows

'I think I'm highly insightful for my age and don't call me missy!'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Men explained.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

Doughboy Dad

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Maternity Ward

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Baby on board 2020

Uterus: One size fits all.

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Maternity Hospital

Giving Birth

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

A couple with a new baby