Sage Baby Admirer Pillows

'I think I'm highly insightful for my age and don't call me missy!'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Doughboy Dad

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Men explained.

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Maternity Ward

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Baby on board 2020

Uterus: One size fits all.

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

Giving Birth

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Maternity Hospital

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

A couple with a new baby

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'