Rustic Humorist T-Shirts

"I've never trusted cows."

'Hold steady, there girl. I need to open my bottle of cider!'

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

"We don't waste any part of the deer and that includes the testicles."

First Sign of the Bucolic Plague.

"Well, well! Looks like someone's not a happy camper! Get it? Happy camper? We're camping? Happy...cam...ahem..."

'Are you decent'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

Cow caught on barbed wire.

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"The Eggsorcist"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '