Rustic Charm Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It takes years before some people are comfortable enough to say hello."

'Suddenly, Ken regretted eating the ploughman's lunch.'

General Store Modernises

"We're thinking of having it in a beautiful old barn."

"So close to the house! And with a half moon! Living the dream!"

'Sure been busy! Good thing it's the slow time of year!'

Country Bumpkin.

Falstaff

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

Opening the Barrel

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

"Swing me with your words."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

"Let's go someplace where I can talk."

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Your being boring, stuffy and predictable is part of your charm."

Olive Tree

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Person Reading For Pleasure

Fill idle hours by making your own rustic seat...use it when you want to relax.

Lockdown had left Nigel desperate for a haircut.

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"Before I start the test, Ms. Masten....May I say you've never looked lovelier!"

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

'You travelled 6,000 miles to find Chateau Grande Magnifique? Buddy, you're looking at it.'

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."