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Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

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“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Mummy?!

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Home Sweet Second Home.

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

A cow on a drip.

"I like friut flies!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

"I can't afford to feed you."