Running Skeptic T-Shirts

Defeatist Marathon.

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Open House of Horrors

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"I wish your temperature told the real truth about you."

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

"Exercise?...What you need is more napping!"

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

"This isn't a reality show. . . it's the news."

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"