Rule Enforcers Pillows

'I got one tough kindergarten teacher. You have to check your cell phones at the door.'

Cinco de Mayo notwithstanding, drinking from the toilet was still prohibited in the Ramirez house.

No Littering. That your bottle?

'He drew me offsides!' - 'He was encroaching.'

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his peers ...'

'Keep looking UMP! I know he's sneaking some kind of substance onto the ball!...'

"Apparently him being 108 and dead isn't sufficient reason for laying him off!"

Lynching on social media

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

No Smoking.

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

'Click it or ticket.'

'What a control freak!'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

I will not waste chalk kid...

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

Referee cop.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

We can't call an ambulance. He doesn't allow personal calls on company time.

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'We only have a few rules around here, but we really enforce them.'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

Mom Umpires

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

Yomp Trucking Inc...My way or the highway!

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

"That's why we wear hard hats"

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"I try to get a head start on them."

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'