Rule Bender Extraordinaires Pillows

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Black hole setting

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Boys Cooking

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

Gender-Neutral Rapunzel

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

Fun on the pyramids

Transgender Bathroom Debate

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."