Rule Bender Spotter Pillows

'Just put it back, Art.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

One way only.

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Boys Cooking

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

Bureau of the Budget. If we serve alphabet soup, we can count it as a lunch program and a literacy program!

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

Fun on the pyramids

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

Getting Closer

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

'Never shoot straight up.'

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

"Mind if I tweak it?"