Rule Bender Spotter Pillows

'Just put it back, Art.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

One way only.

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Boys Cooking

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'This isn't a good time. I'm in trouble with the Dean for using my cell phone in class. I'll call you back.'

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

Fun on the pyramids

'Never shoot straight up.'

'Where in the rules does it say I can't keep a mascot in the goals?'

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

"Mind if I tweak it?"

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."