Rug Ruminator Pillows

"The salesman was right, a carpet with a darker colour will hide all manner of sins."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

'Oh Elias! It's simply the cutest bear rug I ever did see!'

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"Great news! They just bought a new rug we can throw up on!"

'I'm melting! I'm melting! and on the good rug, too!'

"I really like smart women."

"I think...therefore I am. I think."

'The secret to happiness is awaiting F.D.A. approval.'

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

The world's oldest braided rug

"Anything to accompany a stale marriage?"

In Case of Accidents

"My psychiatrist advised me to pay taxes quarterly. That way my seething resentment is spread evenly over a year."

"Whoa! You must have eight rugs on! How's that feel? Are you warm enough?"

Philosoraptors

A man steps on the tail of an animal skin rug

A rug skinned bear

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."

'Your 401k doesn't look a day over 20.'

"Just like he did when he was alive the lazy sod!"

'Yes, most humans call us pests or vermin, but a few of them love us as pets...'

"Let's cut some rug!"

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

"So make me an offer."

"Oh, and remember to roll up the rug the other way when you're done so it'll lie flat again."

'What makes you think your bartender is more qualified than my hairdresser to solve our marital problems?'

'Exactly what do you mean, 'He's rug trained'?'

"To meet the government requirements, I'm passing the extra costs to the consumer and our employees."

Not with my new rug!