Rudeness Humorist Mugs

"Could you make your complaint about poor customer service later?"

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Now Hiring. Artificial Intelligence & Research Lab. "Artificial Intelligence"? Great! I'd be a real asset to your project since I'm not as intelligent as I look!

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

"I've never trusted cows."

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

Steak Lovers.

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

'No, dear, it's not necessary to go to the doctor because Mia kissed you.'

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

'Don't worry! They're vegetarian!'

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

'Hold steady, there girl. I need to open my bottle of cider!'

'He can ignore you in seven different languages.'

'Are you decent'

'You have the right to remain silent...'

"Got milk?"

"This new poem lacks his usual vindictive sarcasm. It's just a victimless rhyme."