Royalty Advisor Pillows

Portable Red Carpet.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

Czarcasm

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"It is we."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

The Frog Prince

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

Princess Anne

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'