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Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

Royal Love

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield