Royal Intrigue Fan Pillows

Rasputin - You don't have to be a mad monk to work here but it helps

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Now that's an afro!'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Czarcasm

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"He's a guard dog."

TV jester.

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'The King of what?'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

The Unhappy King

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'