Round Dodger Mugs

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

'I thought it was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

'I thought this was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Private Viewing

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

Sleeping through new year celebrations

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

"He's agreed to take the cruise, but no damn bunnyhopping!"

Spring Damage.

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

Why men hate shopping.

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

Leaking Art

'I know I shouldn't bite, but I keep thinking about that poor slob up there...hot, tired, hungry...'

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

"... Oh, he's the fastest in the west alright... The fastest out of the saloon when it's his round!"

Fish using a metal detector to avoid fishing hooks.

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

A Man Hides From His Dance Partner At A Ball.