Roommate Who Owns A Pet Fish T-Shirts

"I wasn't dead yet."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

'Sorry, we don't think you've got quite the right background.'

No Swimming Allowed

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

Why bluefin tuna look so worried.

'Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'

"Watching him work those spreadsheets all day can be very relaxing."

How their world views have changed over time.

"I'm leaving a one starfish review of this tank on Yelp."

Snub Marine

'That was fun!'

'Wheeee...'

Fish Food

Budget and swan, crayfish, pike

Will work for clean water.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

'I'm a Pisces.'

"How long can you hold that pose?!"

'I'm getting worried about the dumping of nuclear waste in the ocean!'

"Sorry Bob, but it looks like your Pilot Fish was collateral damage in the feeding frenzy..."