Roommate Who Owns A Pet Fish T-Shirts

"I wasn't dead yet."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

No Swimming Allowed

Jacques Cousteau.

'Sorry, we don't think you've got quite the right background.'

Why bluefin tuna look so worried.

'Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.'

Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"Watching him work those spreadsheets all day can be very relaxing."

How their world views have changed over time.

'Wheeee...'

Snub Marine

"I'm leaving a one starfish review of this tank on Yelp."

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

'That was fun!'

Budget and swan, crayfish, pike

Fish Food

Will work for clean water.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

'Wow! They don't even bother giving you notice anymore before they fire you!'

"How long can you hold that pose?!"

'I'm a Pisces.'

"How's that whole 'thinking outside the bow' thing working out for you now?"

'I'm getting worried about the dumping of nuclear waste in the ocean!'