Room Service Attendant Pillows

"As you know, all of our rooms have unique themes. Yours is Last Night's Guests."

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

"Nap time."

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

'A room with double beds, please.'

'Have you got a mirror, Doctor - He wants to see what he looks like?'

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

'Mary, I've got meetings all day so I'm going to be unable to have my scheduled happiness moment at 3:01. You have it for me, OK?'

'My wife isn't really a morning person.'

'Even if I did know what SEO was - what's wrong with washing cars for a bit of extra pocket money.'

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

"Good ephening."

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

'Service Lift.'

'I'd give it five minutes if I were you'

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

"Redwood or oak?"

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."

'Medium well, please.'

"Yes, this is Mr. Kalen in Room 1510 – would you send up an Android version of the Gideon Bible?"

'Why do you keep watering it, Dad? - It's not going to grow larger!'

'Powerbrowse this and get back to me with a sentence-long synopsis.'

Lady to other: 'Not the screen, silly - you put the white-out on the CD!'

"The worker shortage is real."

'Sanitized for your protection.'

'Bad sign. The groom was asking if we had a sports channel.'

'Sooner or later we'll have to cross their picket line.' (Ladies and Gentlemen toilet signs on strike).

'Morning paper?' - 'No thanks, I like to fetch it myself.'

"Either it's a toad trapped in a cement mixer, or Tom Waits is ordering room service."

"Where's your manners? Lift your feet"