Romantic Survivors T-Shirts

'I love you, but I have to keep moving or I'll suffocate and die.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"...until death do you a favor."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Oh no! You, again?"

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Generation Ex.

'I wish we'd never invented talking — nagging was so much easier to take in sign language.'

Ereptile Dysfunction

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'

Days of Christmas.

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

"Recently separated."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'