Romantic Pundit Pillows

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"Would you prefer the talking or the non-talking section?"

Tunnel of Like.

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

Homophone Encounter

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

Dating in 2020

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."