Romantic Misfits T-Shirts

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Whatever!

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

Husband and wife come out of Tunnel of Love, and man is fishing

"When you promised me a lift home...."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

'I thought you said you were taking me to Swan Lake?'

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

The Adventures of Morton

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'I hate these romance cruises.'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"