Romantic Improvisor T-Shirts

"Springtime in Paris on Google Earth. I told you I was a romantic."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

Guitarist: 'We can freely improvise some other time ... now let's practise.' (With Derek it was always jam tomorrow)

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

I'm sorry Miss, but your artistic license has expired.

Frank Zappa

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

"Great session, you guys - nice to see you both smiling again."

The Art of Bantering!

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"It's improv night."

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

A true musician will learn to improvise when his instrument is in the pawn shop.

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

Genius Bar

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

'No, I said 'sit'.'

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

"Quick! Toss me the stalest one you've got!"

Hi, Rudy. What the -- ?! Don't rush me, Uncle Mort. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web. $12.50. What'd I say? You asked how last night's date went. You wanted to know If we hit it off … If we had a goodnight kiss … if there'll be a second date … If we went for long walks on the beach ... If we're getting serious ... if I've met her parents ... if I've thought of how to propose ... if she's said yes ... if we've moved in together ... if we've discussed giving you grand-nieces and nephews ... All I

Why do you need a girlfriend? Because it's nice to hang out with someone. Why? Because you can do fun stuff. Why? Just because. Oh, why didn't you say so? I think I've had a breakthrough.

'This job would be much easier if you didn't play the flute!'

Prompter malfunction. You're on your own.

'Must we do everything together?'

'It will never work - there's too much difference in our metamorphosis.'