Romantic Exaggerator Pillows

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Fishing Tales

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Wind Tunnel of Love.

Alarmistclock

Early accounting scandals.

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Consenting Adults.

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'...and that's the one that got away!'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

National Hyperbole Society: Inspirational & Outstanding

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

'When I said that I'd 'give you a ring', I meant on the phone. . .'

"If we're to have a serious relationship Nigel, you must stop ringing my bell and running away."

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

'If you don't stop thinking about that waitress, I'm leaving!'

"You're proposing to me with a flea collar?!"

Increase Your Height.

'No, it's not my new look. Just another random 'loves me, loves me not' dispute.'

'Suzy, I hate to break the news to you like this, but there's a good reason why your new boyfriend doesn't fit in amongst the townsfolk too well...Yes Suzy. He's a Notorious Outlier.'

Snake Gloves

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.