Romantic Dinner Critic Pillows

"The champagne makes this night so special...which reminds me, I really should call my husband and wish him a Happy Anniversary!"

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

'S'more wine?'

In Desperate Straits.

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'Hey Babe - 7:30 sharp, don't be late...I'm preparing you a meal...'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

Romantic Frogs

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

"Linguini for two?"

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"Oh, do you like the candles? I made them myself our of old crayons!"

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

'A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou - apparently in that order!'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

Looking tasty

'I'm Marcus and I'll be listening in on your conversations this evening.'

'With our romantic candlelight dinner, I'm obligated to include a safe-sex warning.'

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

"I don't know - I feel like we always split the cheese plate."

"Any requests?"

'Congratulations, dear...the squid appears fresh!'

"I know you're angry when you cross your arms."

'I called the electric company and told them not to hurry to restore power.'