Romantic Dinner Critic Pillows

"The champagne makes this night so special...which reminds me, I really should call my husband and wish him a Happy Anniversary!"

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

In Desperate Straits.

'S'more wine?'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'Hey Babe - 7:30 sharp, don't be late...I'm preparing you a meal...'

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Romantic Frogs

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"Linguini for two?"

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

Looking tasty

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

'A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou - apparently in that order!'

'I'm Marcus and I'll be listening in on your conversations this evening.'

'With our romantic candlelight dinner, I'm obligated to include a safe-sex warning.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

"Oh, do you like the candles? I made them myself our of old crayons!"

Wow. Worst Tunnel of Love ever.

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

'A table for two?'

It was not the romantic meal they had hoped for.

'Waiter. Tonight, we're pulling out all the stops! Get her the steak special and I'll have the pork chops.'