
"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"
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"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"
Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'
"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."
'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'
Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom
'We never go anywhere together except here.'
"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"
'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'
'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'
Tic-tac-toe
"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."
"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."
Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.
"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"
'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'
"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."
Snow White and her husband go for counselling.
DIY marriage counseling.
"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."
Relationship Issues.
"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."
'Will I still be married?'
The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.
"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."
"Try a danged head shot!"
Worm Bed
"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."
'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'
'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'
"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"
"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"
"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"
"I mean it this time Brian, it's either me or the jazz!"
'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'
"What do you mean asking you to marry me via text wasn't romantic? Did you see the emoji with hearts for eyes I attached?"
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