Romantic Advisors Mugs

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"My computer just texted me."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Hollywood Breakup

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"I THINK I've got an app for that!"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

Preachers with far too much input