Romance Avoiders T-Shirts

'Listen. I keep finding these in my yard. It needs to stop!'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

"We met in the biscuit aisle."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'Just you and me babe! It is so romantic!'

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

THE WINE LOVERS - man and woman anticipate sex after getting drunk, but then fall asleep

Yin And Yang break up

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

"Wow. How do we pick a honeymoon destination when they're all so glamorous?"

"If I can't be honest with you, Cheryl, who can I pretend to be honest with?"

I'm looking for a man who's not wrapped up in his career. I want his career to be me. I was just imagining working my way up.

He wasn't a bad guy, just easily distracted.