Rolex Fan Mugs

"There's the man who ripped my Rolex off my wrist!"

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"We're following Carrot Top."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Nuts to you, too."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

The Da Vinci Cod

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

You're my Venus

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Baby squirrel & Berries

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

Moon Lander

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Man on psychiatrist's couch: 'It was a cry for help, really - I tried to slash my wrists with rollerblades.'

"Time passes much more slowly in the other dimension, so take these sudokus."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"It's unusual to see them reading this time of year."

Rembrandt's Selfies

It's busy at the amusement park. The adrenaline's been having fun on the roller coaster, but the stomach cell looks queasy on the tilt-a-whirl! The hormones are going into the tunnel of love again, and the helium atoms are heading toward the complaint booth. They're saying the parachute drop didn't work for them. Any other problems down there? Yeah, the white blood cells are being kicked out. Apparently they tried to attack the staph!

"Another selfie, Rembrandt?"

"...9...8...7...6...5...4...3..."

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

'My hamster fell asleep at the wheel!'

"Back away from the squirrel!"

Rockets of Nasa and nasal.