Role Change T-Shirts

"We can still be friends, Roger. I just don't want you to be one of my vice-presidents anymore."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

Dog walking Human.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

Office meeting

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.