Rodent Avoider Pillows

A woman is more scared of a mouse than a hanged man.

Miami Mice

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

"About time they did something about the rats!"

"I know the cat's away but why don't we watch a couple of boxsets, order a pizza and grab an early night."

"Wait! Maybe they aren't just awesome bunk beds with cheese pillows!"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

"This stuff worked pretty well on me."

Mice Cutting Up A Cat's Tail

'It's a great, safe neighbourhood: The owner of the house is allergic to cats...'

"Squirrel news of the day: Same as yesterday. Good night and good luck."

Hamster.

"There's the evidence of our mouse problem!"

Feeding the Birds

Hamlet, the Mouse Version.

"This should be interesting...."

Young Peel worries about visiting Scotland.

Jailed mouse.

'I think the new exercise ball we got the hamster is too big...'

'Well, Mr Lemming, I'm glad to say that thanks to therapy, you're not suicidal anymore...'

'Well that's just great...you ate the kids and spoiled your dinner!'

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

Xmas Chocolates for Mice

'Stinkin' little gopher! I'll flood him out!!'

'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

'I've always been a bit concerned about exactly what you meant when you said 'let's do lunch'.'

"Am I going crazy or does this table smell like mozzarella cheese?!?"

"Someplace with no dogs."

'I thought you said you were only collecting fortnightly from now on.'

Escaped Fish