Rodent Avoider Pillows

A woman is more scared of a mouse than a hanged man.

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

Miami Mice

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

"About time they did something about the rats!"

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

"I know the cat's away but why don't we watch a couple of boxsets, order a pizza and grab an early night."

"Wait! Maybe they aren't just awesome bunk beds with cheese pillows!"

Mice Cutting Up A Cat's Tail

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

"This stuff worked pretty well on me."

'It's a great, safe neighbourhood: The owner of the house is allergic to cats...'

"Any sign of gophers?"

"There's the evidence of our mouse problem!"

Young Peel worries about visiting Scotland.

Hamlet, the Mouse Version.

Hamster.

"Squirrel news of the day: Same as yesterday. Good night and good luck."

"This should be interesting...."

"Please stop! Let me get the wine first."

Feeding the Birds

Jailed mouse.

'I think the new exercise ball we got the hamster is too big...'

'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'

This is a test of their cognitive skills, and that's a test of their patience. Waiting room.

'I've always been a bit concerned about exactly what you meant when you said 'let's do lunch'.'

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

'Well, Mr Lemming, I'm glad to say that thanks to therapy, you're not suicidal anymore...'

'Stinkin' little gopher! I'll flood him out!!'

Xmas Chocolates for Mice

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

'Well that's just great...you ate the kids and spoiled your dinner!'

'I thought you said you were only collecting fortnightly from now on.'

"Someplace with no dogs."

"Am I going crazy or does this table smell like mozzarella cheese?!?"