Robotics Gifts

"We began with a hip replacement and just sort of riffed off that."

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

"Leave it, it's probably some human."

"Can't we go five minutes without you checking your flower?"

Beagle II not responding.

'Sure, it seems harmless, but you hire one human and the next thing you know, they're taking your job.'

'We're looking for someone with your exact qualifications, but a mechanical version.'

Employees of the Month

'He's not much fun in the evenings -- he's solar powered.'

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

'Sorry Mike. You're evenly matched in technical skills and productivity, but Zorgbot is simply more affable.'

'Get back in here and finish your lunch.'

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

"I combine technical skill with a human interface."

'Hi, I'll be performing your surgery tomorrow.'

"Fascinating!"

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

When handing radiology over to artificial intelligence sounds appealing.

"I'm in way over my head"

'I wanted to become a cyborg too, but it costs an arm and a leg!'

"Sir, the robots have gained sentience and are demanding better working conditions."

Replaced by a Robot...

'All those in favour of accepting more robots?'

'In case you were wondering why the doctor plays computer games all day. . . He is actually controlling me.'

'Bad news. You're being outsourced by robots from a third world country.'

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'These robots will cut infections by 50%.'

'You're hired, but remember, you can be replaced by a machine...believe me.'

Robotic nurse in a future hospital.

"Sorry, we're not that kind of circuit court."

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

'I'm here to ask you for funding for my further development.'

'Twenty - seven 'D' batteries, please, and hurry!'