Robotics Gifts

"We began with a hip replacement and just sort of riffed off that."

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

"Leave it, it's probably some human."

"Can't we go five minutes without you checking your flower?"

Beagle II not responding.

'Sure, it seems harmless, but you hire one human and the next thing you know, they're taking your job.'

'We're looking for someone with your exact qualifications, but a mechanical version.'

Employees of the Month

'He's not much fun in the evenings -- he's solar powered.'

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

'Sorry Mike. You're evenly matched in technical skills and productivity, but Zorgbot is simply more affable.'

'Get back in here and finish your lunch.'

"I combine technical skill with a human interface."

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

'Hi, I'll be performing your surgery tomorrow.'

"Fascinating!"

When handing radiology over to artificial intelligence sounds appealing.

"I'm in way over my head"

'All those in favour of accepting more robots?'

Replaced by a Robot...

"Sir, the robots have gained sentience and are demanding better working conditions."

'In case you were wondering why the doctor plays computer games all day. . . He is actually controlling me.'

'I wanted to become a cyborg too, but it costs an arm and a leg!'

'Bad news. You're being outsourced by robots from a third world country.'

'You're hired, but remember, you can be replaced by a machine...believe me.'

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

'These robots will cut infections by 50%.'

Robotic nurse in a future hospital.

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

"Sorry, we're not that kind of circuit court."

'I'm the surgery robot. I'll be doing your surgery in the morning.'

'The robots have gone on strike...'

'Twenty - seven 'D' batteries, please, and hurry!'