Robot Worrier Pillows

I've just been sacked by a robot.

A Hole in the Dike

I.T. Fear

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Separation Anxiety

I think I have a gilt complex.

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

The Circle.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

Credit Crunch.

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

Worried about the future? We have worst-case-scenario funds!

Very sad piggy bank