Rival Rumbler Pillows

"It never fails! I turn my back for a few days, and we're OVERRUN with pesky little competitors sprouting up in our own back yard!"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Souvenirs.

Business News.

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"Jones ... don't use that 'I'm only human' excuse with me again!"

Cat taunts dog at intersection.

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

"By the time we'd lobbied the government, got planning permission, raised capital, put the job out to tender and built it we didn't need it any more!"

Baseball Angels

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

"Did you hear? Melinda Alvarez, the smartest girl in school, made an ice cream machine for her science project and then shared it with all her teachers! What did you make, Gracie?"

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

Go Favre

Leaf Blower Showdown.

Not a happy camper.

Falling ratings at CBS.

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

"Don't call me ska face!"

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

'Polevault envy'.

Whatever it is I usually think about.

'If you ask me I think they've taken over the place!'

"I hear you quietly rooting for the Patriots back there."

"It's not winning I enjoy so much. It's beating you."

You throw poop like a girl.

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

Arsene Wenger's piggy bank and Andre Villas Boas.

"Yeah, that's Bob. . . he kinda misunderstood the whole 'freeze yourself for the winter' thing. . ."

"...and the undisputed winner is..."