Risk Management Aficionados Gifts

"Who would have thought we should have included a chapter in the H&S handbook telling staff how to sharpen a pencil without skewering their heads."

British savings accounts

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

Failure/Due Diligence

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Crisis'

"I don't like the look of this."

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

William Tell's lesser-known first son- Stanislaus Tell.

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

Standard And P****d.

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

Businessman at the deep end.

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

"More specifically, we're looking for someone to take care of things that are bound to happen eventually."

Days without an incident.

'Maybe we should've let that one pass.'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."