Ringside Raconteur Prints

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

Non Thought For The Day.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Now we wait for the show to begin!

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

Making Things Pleasant.

'Life on the farm used to be so... innocent. What's happened to us?'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

The world's oldest braided rug

'I don't understand it. He's just as strong as ever.'

'The night cows fell on Alabama.'

Tip jar at boxing match.

A Boy Visits The Rector To Ask For Some Soup.

Dear Diary...Royal Diary

'Down on the farm!'

'He's tiring? What happened to round four 'he's ready to go!'?'

'When did I first start rambling? Well, it's a long story...'

Man Tries To Teach Horse To Jump.

Businessman As A Weather Vane

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

Soap Box

"No one turned in a cow, pig or chicken Mr. McDonald."

"I grew up on a farm. In fact, I learned to ride a horse before I could walk!"

'I won't introduce you - he's an arable farmer. Absolutely arable.'