Ring Side Spectator Gifts

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'

'This is where his experience begins to pay off.'

"I AM at my usual position."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

Octopus in the bleachers.

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

'That's not a towel - that's a rag! You have to throw in a towel!'

Winter Olympics

Finish. What do you mean YOU won the Iditarod?!

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

My first rodeo

'I don't understand it. He's just as strong as ever.'

Rose Bowl Lawsuit

'To be honest Fran, our marriage is going through a tricky patch.'

'Get out of bounds, Johnson! Turf shark!'

'He's tiring? What happened to round four 'he's ready to go!'?'