Righteousness Enthusiast Pillows

'Well, self-righteousness is better than no righteousness at all, isn't it?'

Others will fight for you

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"What did Jesus order?"

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

The ecumenical dinner party.

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Thomas Cranmer

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

'At least he's honest.'

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

Attila the Nun.

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'