Rhyme Afficionado Gifts

Welcome to "Great Unknown Moments in Literary History." Tonight, Edgar Allan Poe and "The Raven." "Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary." You call that poetry? Don't quit your day job! I know ducks who can rhyme better! What do you call that drivel? I'm leaning toward "To Kill a Mockingbird." I like "Bye Bye Birdie" better!

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

"Wow, what a DILF."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

"Nevermore."

Two love poems in swimming pool. Shallow end and deep end.

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"We've hit the jackpot! It's Ed Sheeran's songwriting formula."

'So he eats the odd secretary now and then. He's our top actuary and I intend to make him a partner.'

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

Two More Poems from Ted Hughes

"I had some upsetting news today… 'Fish gotta swim, Birds gotta fly'."

"Who's up for some commercially successful music?"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

'Now that I'm King, no more of that 'Eddie' stuff, Mom.'

CEO, CFO, MOO.

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

Livin' just enough, just enough - for th' city...

"Boss, I didn't understand your memo. It reads 'W.U.W.T.M.S.A.' What does that mean?"

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

Football anagrams: U.S.A. Has oil (Answer: Louis Saha)

"I've just been gazumped!"

Oh, so that's 'how it's hanging'!

The Perpetual Motion (just a figure of speech) Institute.

Narcissus discovers t-shirts

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

Poet