Rhetoric Critic Pillows

"So apart from stop being 'lying hypocritical uncaring bastards who'd promise anything to get back in power'...is there anything else we might do to secure your vote?"

A politician cuts off his tongue.

'Wow! Can't you just feel the safe-ness!'

Political Data Bank

"I've never heard f**k all said with such passionate conviction."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Changing Minds

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Information...political rhetoric

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Presidential approval ratings. US stock market confidence indices. U.S. dollar index. So much winning."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"You'll never believe who's here."

'Actually, I think my use of hyperbole is not only iconoclastic, it is potentially revolutionary.'