Review Googler Prints

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

"I appreciate how you've protected my privacy, Doc. I'm gonna tell everybody about it on my medical rating website!"

Encyclopedia

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

Big Bark Theory (canine version of the origin of the universe)

"Do you have a menu sorted by relevance, average customer review, and price low to high?"

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

'Careful with this next patient. He's not very litigious but he is a prolific online reviewer.'

'Nope...1443 bloggers have already panned it.'

"This might not be very good. Our cook is in a really bad mood."

"It gets worse! She's recommended us as a bed & breakfast on Trip Advisor!"

"You asked for the soup of the day, you didn't specify what day."

Henry proudly models his new goggles that prevent him from losing a contact lens.

"According to one of the reviews on Trip Adviser the beds aren't very good."

Restaurant. Try our buffet. Since you "liked" the buffet, you should say you're "fully satisfied," not "fed up."

Cricketer uses computer search engine called 'Googly'.

Cat Yelp.

"Look! He slamming us on Yelp! Beat him to the punch and troll him on Twitter!"

Man celebrates his Google ranking.

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