Retirement Plan Commentator T-Shirts

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

401K

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

You're fortunate to have reached your Golden Years. You want the Golden Handcuffs or Golden Parachute?

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

Frosty, the Golden Years

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'

Do not resuscitate.

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"Can't imagine retiring. It's bad enough being semi-retired."

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your 401k is?"

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"Rapunzel? She bought a time-share in Costa Rica. I'm Larry."

Mismanagement Consultant.

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."