Retirement Comedian T-Shirts

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Toothless Meal

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

When scientists come out of retirement.

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

'Our retirement plan is state funded. When you retire, we give you a lottery ticket.'

Bear Market

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

Old fly...retirement home.

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)

Old People Whisperer

'The Retirement Village Blacksmith.'